Why didn’t anyone tell me that being single isn’t for the faint-hearted? Because wow!! If seeing flames romantically was a person, it would most definitely be me. PSA: being single isn’t for everybody, it has its own people and everyday life proves to me that I’m not made for this single life.
Kubi, ku rough, ku exhausting, ku draining (ku = it’s, i.e it’s rough). The backstory of the disaster that is my love life is that the last time I considered myself single was the beginning of my high school career, so for roughly 7 years ‘straight’ I was someone’s girlfriend (firstly don’t judge me and secondly please note the quotation marks, they’re there for a reason). What I’m trying to say is that if girl-friending was a profession I’d be part of the big 5 in that profession. Fast forward 2019 I’m single and living my life like it’s golden. When people said dating in today’s society is horrible I didn’t believe them because I had my prince charming and believed there’s someone for everyone, but now I’m singing a completely different tune.
With great singleness comes great responsibility, responsibility that includes loving myself, caring for myself and getting to know myself all over again because I wasn’t someone’s girlfriend anymore, I was just me and I didn’t know just me, I know relationship me very well but just me is a completely different story. Do you know about the 5 stages of grief? I was stuck on anger so I hated anything romantic for a while, I was legit bitter to an extent where I stopped giving out relationship advice because I’d always speak from a place of hurt. I had to call myself to order, hence I did what I did. I also had a Tinder escapade but that’s a story for another day.
Being single sucks but is a necessity and I’ll tell you why, you get to learn about you boo thang. You learn about your likes and dislikes, your idea of fun, what you can tolerate and what you can’t, your deal breakers and most importantly what you want out of life and your purpose in life. I got to learn that I’m actually a really nice person especially when fed, I’m super spontaneous and people around me don’t appreciate it because apparently planning to do things is an actual thing. The point is, I got a chance to fall in love with myself and it was a painful and beautiful experience, it still is.
I asked my Instagram followers “what’s it like being single?” and one of the responses that stood out was “Having the complete control over your actions without thinking twice”. It stood out because it made me realise that I now have a chance to be selfish with the direction of my life, because whether you know it or not, when you have a partner you begin planning your life around them and make compromises you wouldn’t have otherwise. Another said “Sometimes boring but worth it if you know why you are in such a situation” that told me that I need to have a purpose/ goal for this single season of my life so not all hope is gone when it comes to me not liking my single season.
I enjoy being me and me only, it’s fun and refreshing but it can get really really really lonely! And I think that’s when my faith is tested the most because all I want in that moment is to have a male being right beside me or hugging me, I sometimes feel like I won’t see the sun rise the following day if someone’s son doesn’t come and hold me. Whether he holds me accountable, hostage or in contempt I don’t care, as long as I’m held. I do see the sun rise regardless of not being held and being single gets easier by the day.
Share your story of what it’s like to be single or what it was like being single, I’d really love to hear from you.
-Let’s chat. Love Lelo.