Relationships: Compatibility vs Suitability

Relationships: Compatibility vs Suitability

A few weeks back my friend and I were talking about past romantic relationship experiences (basically why they didn’t work out). During the conversation, the topic of compatibility versus suitability came up and by the end of that topic, my view on relationships changed completely.

I’ve always thought that if my babe and I weren’t compatible, being in a relationship with him would be like watering a dead flower. I thought suitability was a side effect of compatibility, but it seems to be the other way around. Let me explain how I reached this conclusion and you tell me what you think yeah? Cool.

In my head, when I think compatible I think having the same interests as my boo, good vibes whenever we link up and our personalities just gelling together. I mean if we get along so great then we must just be suitable for each other, it’s like an unspoken law right? Wrong!

Looking at the textbook definition of these words  (in my case, google definition)  compatibility is basically co-existing without problems at all. Which is impractical. Sorry, what I meant to say was it’s impossible! Trust me on this one, I’m speaking from experience. Whereas ” suitability speaks to purpose”- Lelo’s friend (I’ve got woke friends). What purpose you ask? Your life’s purpose. Your reason for being.

Suitability tells us to find the person appropriate for us and from that, compatibility with them will flow, because compatibility stems from suitability with the help of compromises here and there throughout the course of the relationship. For a more biblical understanding check out this Facebook post I read whilst gathering information for today’s post.

So many questions stemmed from this conversation for me hey, like “What if I haven’t found my purpose? Does that mean all relationships I enter will be fruitless?” or “How will I know this man is appropriate for me?” (The last question is generic though, If anyone has a genuine answer please email me with an explanation and please don’t tell me I’ll know because I also thought I knew when I was with my ex’s).

Share your opinion with me in the comment section.

Let’s chat. Love Lelo

Justin Follis

8 thoughts on “Relationships: Compatibility vs Suitability

  1. I used to view compatibility via zodiac signs. It helped me in terms of suitability, but now i feel like only experiences helps.

  2. Hello Lelo

    Thank you for the interesting topic, relationships are sometimes very difficult to understand or maintain because of the “rules” one has to apply inorder for them to last.

    I believe there are no specific mathods to follow when falling inlove because we are all so different, i am saying this in a sense that a couple thats suitable for each other can either last or not same as a couple that is compatible for each other lasting or not.

    When in a relationship just be the best you can be and hope for the best and never settle for last.

    That is my take on your nice read

    Thank you Lelo

    1. So you’re saying suitability doesn’t ensure the longevity of a relationship? If not, do you believe compatibility has room for compromise? Because I’d like to think that that’s what keeps breathing life into our relationships, compromises. Think about the definition of compatibility for a bit before giving an answer.
      I completely agree that there is no specific method to falling in love, we’ve all just got a generic view/ understanding of how it happens and go with that no matter how much we think we know about matters of the heart.

      It’s a pleasure. I’m glad you liked the read.
      -Love Lelo.

  3. Yes in fact i do strongly believe that for one to conclude that she or he is compatible with another a lot of things would have been compromised at that stage because… “and yes i am keeping in mind the definition of compatibility” for one to said they are compatible with someone there must have been a list or criteria they used and even though that someone has “passed” the bar… there were things that were not ticked on that list and that is where “compromise” gets in

  4. My mind is blown away. I totally have a new view on relationships.
    Thank you Lelo, keep up the good work ❤️

  5. Thanks Lelo for this wonderful piece of article. I enjoyed reading it and learnt something new.

    From a biblical point of view it says God made Adam a SUITABLE helpmeet not a COMPATIBLE helpmeet. Eve was suitable for Adam in respect to his purpose.

    I believe that once you know your purpose in this life it helps you make a better choice as to who you have a relationship with. Then compatibility- shows us how that persons personality, character and lifestyles compliments our purpose.

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