A few weeks back my friend and I were talking about past romantic relationship experiences (basically why they didn’t work out). During the conversation, the topic of compatibility versus suitability came up and by the end of that topic, my view on relationships changed completely.
I’ve always thought that if my babe and I weren’t compatible, being in a relationship with him would be like watering a dead flower. I thought suitability was a side effect of compatibility, but it seems to be the other way around. Let me explain how I reached this conclusion and you tell me what you think yeah? Cool.
In my head, when I think compatible I think having the same interests as my boo, good vibes whenever we link up and our personalities just gelling together. I mean if we get along so great then we must just be suitable for each other, it’s like an unspoken law right? Wrong!
Looking at the textbook definition of these words (in my case, google definition) compatibility is basically co-existing without problems at all. Which is impractical. Sorry, what I meant to say was it’s impossible! Trust me on this one, I’m speaking from experience. Whereas ” suitability speaks to purpose”- Lelo’s friend (I’ve got woke friends). What purpose you ask? Your life’s purpose. Your reason for being.
Suitability tells us to find the person appropriate for us and from that, compatibility with them will flow, because compatibility stems from suitability with the help of compromises here and there throughout the course of the relationship. For a more biblical understanding check out this Facebook post I read whilst gathering information for today’s post.
So many questions stemmed from this conversation for me hey, like “What if I haven’t found my purpose? Does that mean all relationships I enter will be fruitless?” or “How will I know this man is appropriate for me?” (The last question is generic though, If anyone has a genuine answer please email me with an explanation and please don’t tell me I’ll know because I also thought I knew when I was with my ex’s).
Share your opinion with me in the comment section.
Let’s chat. Love Lelo