Losses turned lessons

Once upon a time there lived a girl who could not deal with hurt and pain in a healthy manner. She knew little about the benefits of having a confidant to converse with and that led her down a road of great turmoil.

Growing up I had my parents wrapped around my pretty fingers; my word was basically law but that didn’t do much for my emotional intelligence hey. It actually did nothing for it. Fast forward to somewhere in my primary years, I experienced my first heartbreak, first bully, first almost everything toxic to the growth of my emotional intelligence. At the time I had only one sibling, but we were raised as the ‘only child’ despite living together and going to the same school together (I’ve got interesting family dynamics). So essentially, I had no one to talk to and had no clue as to what to do with all these painful emotions I was experiencing. Before I knew it, I became a wrecking ball of all things bad. Destruction became my mother tongue.

2019 the bottled-up emotions exploded, and it was not a pretty sight to say the least. In a moment of weakness I texted Yanela and we had a chat on everything I was going through at the time and he said to me “we experience people” and the liberation that came to me after he explained what he meant by those words has changed my life for forever.

I’m paraphrasing but in summary what I took from the conversation is that we’re entitled to nothing and no one in life. We cross paths with the people we do for a reason/ purpose and once that purpose has been fulfilled, we have to move on from each other and as painful as it may be it must be done so we can continue to grow as people. Always be ready to start over because you never know where life may take you and remain grateful for the lessons because now you know how to do better. Above all else, value yourself, love yourself and take care of yourself because you’ll only ever have yourself.

The conversation shifted my view on how I should deal with loss, deceit and betrayal. I’ve learnt that therapy is okay, being sad is okay, talking is okay despite having the most ridiculous things to say and that allowing myself to feel all emotions is okay. What isn’t okay is staying in the dark room and wallowing for far too long. Letting go still sucks and hurts but I’ve learnt that it’s okay and that I lose no value in doing so.

Which of your life lessons stand out for you?

-Let’s chat. Love Lelo.

3 thoughts on “Losses turned lessons

  1. I have learned that it’s okay not to be okay. Healing is a long and hard process, you should take your time and be kind to yourself. Great post

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