Ever felt like God is forever shaking His head looking at you and that your guardian angel has gone on indefinite leave? That’s how I feel 9 times out of 10 whenever I get myself into a situation I had no business entertaining and that I’m on God’s waiting list for prayers to be answered.
I don’t know about you but I’ve played the bargain game with God on multiple occasions, especially with my academics. I’ve promised to study more, attend all my lectures, consult and join a study group and I can shamefully say I still don’t attend all my lectures, I still don’t consult and what’s a study group? The bargain game worked for the first few semesters (I think because I’m the queen of surrendering) and now I just feel like God is trying to teach me a lesson because wow! If figuratively seeing flames were an image, it would be my academic record, but none the less I’m still pushing with tears and snot rolling down my face (ew right?).
What is interesting though is how I get really mad at God, for what I feel like is Him not coming through for your girl. I’d self-inflict feeling forsaken sometimes I’d even have the liver (guts) to be like “two can play this game” with God. They do say “no guts, no glory” (this is my poor attempt at consoling myself because I know what I’m saying is basically crap). I genuinely get mad like I’m not in the wrong and that I had nothing to do with what’s happening to me. With all that anger, I miss what God is trying to teach me. I pay no mind to His Word and continue doing this life thing as if I birthed myself. Even after all the rebellion, I’ll have the liver to wonder where He is when I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
What I’m trying to get to is that the light was in me keeping my word because He never goes back on His. If you’re like me at times, let’s do better because we really can. I was having a mini self-motivation session and thought “why not blog about it?” and here we are.
Ever found yourself in a similar situation? Tell me what goes down during your self-motivation sessions.
Let’s chat. Love Lelo.