Let’s chat sex – Are we really obsessing over a surge of dopamine?

Let’s chat sex – Are we really obsessing over a surge of dopamine?

Some call it sex, others making love and others define it as heaven on earth. If you don’t know what sex is, let me paint a picture for you; Firstly it must be a consensual act. Now imagine you and the person you’re into are both naked and your reproductive organs interact for two minutes or ten if you’re lucky. Very shortly after your brain releases a huge amount of dopamine and you are left with hairs standing and a tingling sensation on your skin. Oh, and someone is wearing a condom if needs be.

Now that, that is out of the way what’s your view on a sexless relationship? Could you pull it off? I asked my friends on my Instagram stories and the results were almost 50/50. Most gents said “Nope” whilst most ladies said “Yes” which wasn’t surprising to be quite honest and I’ll share my opinion on why. A lot of men have sensitive egos that need to be stroked on multiple occasions if you’re trying to get something out of him ladies *hint. Back to sensitive ego’s, when stroked it seems as though you’re fed validation either from your partner or your guy friends, let us stick to the guys friends train for a minute. Toxic masculinity praises a gent with a high body count but shuns the female counterpart, now here’s my question, who are these gents having sex with if it’s frowned upon for a woman to engage in coitus?

Any who, in today’s society it seems you’re deemed ‘the man’ if you’re hung low, started having sex young, have a double digit+ body count and can pay for your lady’s hair and nails, and because sensitive egos that equation never really works out well because it’s toxic and harmful. Guess who is on the receiving end of all that toxicity?

Is there such a thing as toxic femininity? A woman is a sacred creature and thus must carry herself as so, by abstaining and gift her un-pluck peach on her wedding night to her husband. If she doesn’t abstain, has a double digit+ body count and knows what she wants in between sheets, it’s problematic. What makes it worse is when we, her sisters call her shameful names in public and over tea just because, a girl wanted sexual liberation.

What’s up with the stereotypes loves? Why can’t we live in harmony and not say everything we think? When we do that, we close the door for meaningful conversations about sex and the role it plays in our lives not only emotionally or physically but psychologically as well. We need these conversations so we can have a better generation in future. Soul ties can do more good or harm than we can fathom, apart from that, we need to know we have options in protecting ourselves where sex is concerned and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with abstaining for both gents and ladies. It’s honestly disheartening seeing bullying/trolling on social media because of a person’s sexual past or present. I decide to take a break from the timeline when such happens. God bless all those trolls. There’s more to relationships than sex.

What’s the stereotype that gets to you the most?

-Let’s chat. Love Lelo.

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