The name is Lelo and finding reasons to fall in love with myself is the game.
It’s no secret that people on the journey to self-love and self-appreciation have been through some trauma that has resulted in seeing no value within themselves and one day all of that came to a stop. That’s the pretty version of the beginning of my happily ever after and I’m here to let you know how it’s been going.
It got off to a bumpy start hey, I was still looking for validation from other people that weren’t me until one morning my friend took me out for breakfast and basically told me to get my shit together ( thank you Pumla). I was falling apart, and I knew I was, but I didn’t think it was that bad until I had a one-woman intervention lol. Fast forward my train ride back to Hatfield I did a little bit of self-reflection (a train ride has never felt that long hey). I got to my place and I most probably cried and slept, I cry a lot, it’s like therapy for me sometimes. I changed my ways and began spending a lot of time alone in my thoughts, online, in bed, in the dark and even in the presence of people.
I think the biggest thing for me was choosing me and who I spent my time with because being with them made me happy or just brought peace in my life. I began to notice that I know a lot of people, but I don’t have a lot of friends and that was the beginning of my healing journey. I learnt to pick who to keep around me and that has done a lot for my mental health as well. Then I began exploring things I thought might interest me like going out to SK to watch movies at odd times and that has become one of my most favourite things to do because the cinema is empty (I’m the type to talk during movies, don’t judge me). I take walks now, I visit the rooftop and stare at the breath-taking view, ice-cream and waffle dates make me dance and although I can’t sing, I am in love with singing. I’m consistent with going to therapy, I’m taking reading more seriously and I’m learning to fall in love with writing again.
If you are in a similar situation my chat to you is learn to be selfish, attentive, intentional and kind. Put yourself first that way you’ll be able to love others holistically the way you feel they deserve. Pay attention to your surroundings, see what is draining you and what is giving you life. Ignorance isn’t bliss where your wellbeing is concerned. Be intentional in how you want to learn to love yourself; google things you could try to learn to love you. You should want your relationship with yourself to work out and then you’ll see it work out. Finally, always be kind to yourself, understand you’re trying the best you can, given the circumstance.
I’m in a beautiful space of growth and I couldn’t be prouder of myself. It’s been almost a year now and I’m loving the young woman I’m becoming. She is beautiful, smart, strong-willed and is a joy. Key things I’ve noticed, I’m more self-aware, I still don’t like hearing the truth but I’m better at receiving it, I know the people that are for me, I’ve established an amazing support structure that keeps me standing when I can’t do so for myself and I’m committed to everything that is for the betterment of me. I am my number one.
In summary, I’m doing great and hope you are too.
-Let’s chat. Love Lelo.