During my 2-month hiatus, I also sought after help from my psychologist. We had an interesting conversation that inspired today’s post.
We’ve all heard about the strong friend right? The one no one ever checks up on but you know they’re a phone call away when you need them? Yes! That one. In most of my friendships I was that ‘strong’ friend and quite frankly it was exhausting because whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on, friends became ‘shoulderless’ (that’s not a word by the way).
In a recent session with my psychologist, we conversed about the strong friend and I’m still partially confused with her response. Imagine you’re a shepherd with a sheep and you can tend to all its needs. One day you ask your sheep for an egg and the sheep can’t produce the egg because it’s a sheep (I know what you’re probably thinking, I was also confused/lost when she got to this part in her analogy). At this point you’re upset that the sheep can’t tend to your needs because you always take care of it, but maybe if you asked it for wool, you wouldn’t be so upset because it can provide you with wool. End of analogy.
Still lost? I was too. What I took from her analogy was that my friends are my sheep and I’m their shepherd. Jokes. Honestly what I took was confusion and I didn’t ask for clarification because I wanted to ponder it for a bit and now I’m asking for your take on the matter.
What I think I got is that not all my friends can meet my needs even though I can meet all of theirs, and for some reason that’s supposed to be okay. Is it really okay though? Is it okay that I can be there for my friend at 2 am but she can’t for me? But she is able to be there for me when I need a lunch date? Is this the new memo for friendships that I didn’t get?
What do you think? Is what I got from the analogy far off from what my psychologist was trying to tell me? What did you get from her analogy?
Let’s chat. Love Lelo