Definition of a white lie: “a lie about a small or unimportant matter that someone tells to avoid hurting another person”
We tell little white lies to spice up a story or to avoid things we don’t want to address, but do you know what they say about little white lies? Tis’ said they grow bigger and bigger and before you know it, the lie you told is out of control, you can barely remember the initial lie or you’ve dragged a number or people into your lie to help sell your story. What I’m getting to is that at the end of the day, you are screwed because that ‘little’ white lie came back to bite you in the butt.
I feel like we treat certain mental health issues like little white lies. Don’t nobody wanna talk about it, we deem this epidemic a small or unimportant matter (hence the italics in the definition). I want to touch on anxiety today.
Anxiety – “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.”
My heart rate shoots up, breathing becomes difficult, easy equations become a nightmare to solve, I’m irritable, frustrated becomes my middle name, all I want to do is cry and have the earth swallow me whole! I’m having an anxiety attack and because of this, everything in my life is about to come to a stand still.
I suffer from anxiety and it has made my academic career a nightmare to say the least. I’ve been on drugs (medication) for it, I see a psychologist for it, first year I damn near passed out because of it. I am well aware of my triggers but grounding myself is something else, especially when time isn’t on my side.
I feel powerless and drained whenever I experience an attack, it feels like a preview to the end of whatever it is I’m anxious about. I absolutely hate failing, when I fail, my whole world ends, yhall can bury me because I’m done with this life thing. That’s how I feel. I cannot comprehend how I’m capable of failure, that might sound obnoxious and that’s okay because that’s how I feel. The problem comes in when I can’t process my feelings because that’s where my downfall begins. And I honestly don’t know what to do about it, I’m hoping you can help me. If you can please leave a comment down below or send me an email.
-Let’s chat. Love Lelo.