12 Lessons from past relationships – Part 2

12 Lessons from past relationships – Part 2

Lesson 7: You have the capability to make or break your partner

Proverbs 18v21: “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”. I think it’s safe to assume that you value your partner’s opinion more than others, especially if you’re deep in love with the gent/hun, so beware of the things you say. Speak kindly and positively. Words have more power than we perceive and once we understand that, we’re more likely to watch what we say. Yes, no one’s opinion should be more important to you than yours but some us aren’t that emotionally mature yet to put that into full effect in our lives, so I say again be kind in speech.

Lesson 8: “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”

Think before you speak, especially on sensitive matters. Here’s an example: if I’m like “Babe, how do I look in this dress” you don’t respond by saying “You look fat boo” you respond by saying something like “I don’t think this dress is flattering for your figure, perhaps we could try that other dress.”. Notice the difference? And how the different statements could possibly make your partner feel? If yes, great! If no, re-read the paragraph with empathy till it makes sense.

Lesson 9: The grass is green where you water it

Here I’m speaking of compromise, consistency, persistence and effort. 4 main ingredients for a beautiful relationship. Stop drooling at other people’s relationships and mind your own so you can be happy, feel fulfilled and secure in your own. Also remember, you see what people choose to show you, so you may only ever see their highs and never their lows. Relationships usually consist of 2 individuals from different backgrounds and ideas of what love is. They decide to date and learn to speak one language as the relationship progresses.

Lesson 10: Know when to leave the relationship

Stop begging people to love you and hoping they’ll change or being in denial about their bad behavior. Stop making excuses for them and listen to your gut feeling. The red flags aren’t there for fun, run my baby. The only person you can change is yourself

Lesson 11: You teach people how to treat you

Know your deal breakers and things you’re willing to tolerate, it’ll save you time, effort and money because we all know dating can be expensive and exhausting. The talking stage is where you teach that person you’re interested in how to talk to you, how to behave around you and once you’re in a committed relationship, you teach them how to care for you and love you.

Lesson 12: Vulnerability is key

If you second guess being vulnerable around your partner, whether it be by crying or being comfortable in their presence, you need to re-evaluate your relationship because the problem is either 1 of 2 things; 1 being you having not dealt with past insecurities and they’ve now come to haunt you in your new relationship or 2 your partner isn’t making enough effort in helping you feel secure in their presence. Either way, you should be able to feel holistically nude where your partner is concerned.

We’ve reached the end of a few of the lessons I’ve learnt in the relationship world, share you lessons with me in the comment section. Remember to subscribe to my mail list. Till next time.

-Let’s chat. Love Lelo.

Photo by Kaleidico on Unsplash

2 thoughts on “12 Lessons from past relationships – Part 2

  1. Hi, my experience has been good and bad. My relationships seems not to last longer for past one i was ghosted because he was cheating,he then blocked me after he explained why…he did that apparently “my feelings were not reciprocating” till today I am still bemused to the fact that I was going to played and my time was going to be wasted because someone didn’t have a decency to communicate his emotions.

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